That Green Gentleman: My review of the Green Hornet

In production for as long as 2 years, adapated from the popular radio series of the 40s as well as the renowned TV series of the 70s, featuring Bruce Lee as Kato and written by Seth Rogen, you'd think the Green Hornet was hot property. Sadly, the latest adaptation falls flat. Having had time to recolate my thoughts, I can publish them with what I hope is the most sincerce and honest opinion.

Taking a pre-exsisting property is notably all the rage in Hollywood, yet it rarely pays off. We have been treated to exceptions such as Christopher Nolan's reboot of the Batman series and Zack Synder's Watchmen (yes, I thought it was great) but most of the time, the film falls flat yet frustratingly takes in a shit load of money at the box office, prompting tireless sequels that are a) not needed and b) are there to take advantage of people who don't know what a good film is if it slapped them in the face. It may sound arrogant of me and perhaps it is, but if you're paying good money to go watch Michael Bay blow shit up with robots for 2 and a half hours, your idea of a good film differs GREATLY from mine. And with the recent explosion of 3D (thank you Mr. Cameron), we can be treated to action spectacle in fantastical 3 dimensions!

And so we get to the Green Hornet of 2011....

Famously a project whereby Seth Rogen shed his weight to play the titular superhero, he wrote and stars as Britt Reid, a young playboy whose wealthy father runs the Daily Sentinel, one of the biggest newspaper chains in Los Angeles. Upon his father's death, the reckless Reid inherits his father's company as well as his father's car mechanic (and coffee maker) Kato, played by Taiwanese singer Jay Chou. During a (completely illogical) discussion where they decide to go do something ridiculously stupid, they unwittingly defend a vulnerable couple from a gang of thugs and decide to become superheros, with Reid taking on the persona of The Green Hornet. Using his power as Chief Editor of the Sentinel, he pushes for more coverage of his superhero alter-ego that only attracts the interest of the city's crimelords, particularly Chudnofsky (I know, I can't say it either but apparently that's the point) played by Inglourious Basterds Christoph Waltz. Cue mindless action sequences, utterly dreadful dialogue and a terribly miscast lead performance by Seth Rogen..... Let the reviewing commence!

Honestly, I left the cinema satisfied. It was nothing brilliant obviously, but for a bit of escapism entertainment, i was satisfied. However, as I munched my lunchtime Subway before the far superior The King's speech (my previous blog), I got thinking. Specifically, I got thinking what the hell were they thinking. Seth Rogen is so boring as the Green Hornet that you literally wanna fall asleep. He rehashes the characters that he's known for and basically plays the Hornet as the stoned, wise-talking hero of Pineapple Express; an arguably better and more rounded film. 

The plot goes absolutely nowhere with the characters a part of ridiculous situations that you are suddenly aware shouldn't be there. How did we get from there to here?!?! It's beyond me. One minute, Rogen's partying. Next minute, he's engaging in high-speed pursuits with police and enjoying it. This all comes down to one important factor and above all, the most important part of a film: Characterisation. Does the Green Hornet have any? Not. One. Bit. As a result, the characters are weak, lack any enthusiasm and play it off as if they are utterly hilarious. No. You are not. Sorry team!

The mind boggles as to why someone as talented as Michel Gondry chose this as a potential project. For one, it has none of his quirky trademarks or any notable camerwork that he is known for. Expecting Eternal Sunshine with a superhero twist? Sorry, you won't get it. This is such a mainstream fim you won't get any originality from it at all. The same goes for Christoph Waltz, my (and many others too) favourite actor of 2009 thanks to his wonderful performance in Inglourious Basterds. He was menacing, brutal, funny and unforgiving in that. Here, he doesn't have an ounce of the wit or sadism that he included in the character of Landa. In fact, to say he's the films main villain, he really is hardly in it. And if you want a scary villain, you have them in it. Otherwise, you just have Seth Rogen giving himself too many lines then blowing stuff up when he runs out of things to say. Unfortunately, this is the case with The Green Hornet.

I wish to say as little as possible about 3D cause I despise the format. With the exception of last year's Tron: Legacy where it genuinely worked, there is absolutely no need for it. So why it is included here where it enhances nothing and often distances the audience from the action, well; it just serves to confirm that this film is a dud. Enough said.

Overall, it is fun in parts. There are a few notable exchanges between Rogen and Chou but with a story that is ridiculously unfocused and with no time for Waltz to establish what could have been a great villain, the film has no direction and as a result, is splendidly unfilling. 

I expected alot more from all involved. Just do me a favour Hollywood. Make your money from this and DO NOT greenlight a sequel. However, that plea looks to fall flat too......

2 stars out of 5.

Next up; It's a toss between Blue Valentine and Black Swan. DEPENDS which I see first, most likely the former. I have a screening of it on Wednesday or Thursday before Black Swan on Friday. Lots of activity. Very exciting times! 

Speak laters!

Tward